...Are They Just Trying to Make Me More Coinfident?!

Almost everybody gets compliments once in a while. Compliments are good. But what if somebody tells us the person is just trying to give us more self-esteem, or make us "less depressed", or anything else just because of what we look like?. It is trye there is some goth stereotype that goths are depressed amd with no self-esteem. But it is the same as saying all people from Newfoundland are idiots or all asians can't drive. Yes, there are idiot people in Newfoundland  just as in any province, and some asian people, like people from any continent, can't drive.  But mostly, they are not true. Just the same with goths. Some goth people are depressed, but there are just as many depressed non'goth people. **Also, a little secret. Don't tell anyone. Most people who are truly depressed are no longer intrested in their fashion style or appearance, so goth is usually not them.**

So, how do you tell if somebody genuinely likes something or are just trying to be nice? First, look at who the person is. If they are somebody who you can see likes alternative fashion, I strongly doubt they will thing you have no self-esteem because you wear alternative fashion. If it's someone you don't know well, they are probably just happy to see somebody else not dressed in a "mainstream" style. Then, think about what they said. If they mentioned what they like, like an item of clothing, or asked where you got it, it's probably just them liking something. If they just like how you look, it again depends on who said it. But if they say you have a nice face that would have looked better with less makeup, or that your style is "ruining you", then it is not even compliment. IT IS AN INSULT. Just walk away from that person.

Remember, this was what Marilyn Manson looked like mainstream.

HOWEVER. There is always a big HOWEVER. Like that time a lady at a store stopped me at a store to tell me what a horrible thing goth is and that I should not be dressing goth, and I said that HOWEVER I am not goth, it is called decadent movement, and she does not know what she is talk about.
So, However. If you often get told that your style does not suit you, and if it is not just that one person stuck on it like a broken CD player, then you might want to actually consider the point. Maybe if you wear whiteface every day and have dripping eyeliner, they are right in a way. It all depends.

Tips on Becoming More Coinfident

I find the most important thing for me to have coinfidence in how I look is following my one simple rule: If you're not proud of it, don't wear it and definitely don't post it. I was taught this by my good friend art teacher T.J., who said it applying to artwork, but it applies to an outfit just the same. Look in the mirror before leaving home, and think if you are proud of how you look, or at least of what you look like. For example, I have days when I'm looking like a intelligent and creative person ready to meet with their friends and have fun, and this is good. But there are also a small number of days when I feel like a Ziggy Stardust clone from the 70s, which usually means I should probably wear something else. If you know for sure you were proud of what you wore at home, you should feel more coinfident when you leave.


No offense.


As for the "don't post it" part: I'm going to be open and say that I HATE IT when people post a picture of themselves and say how ugly they are. This is called fishing for compliments, dear friends, and it gives others a bad opinion of you, as well as drives poor Kismet pretty fucking insane. If you post a picture and then say you look bad in it, the question is why you posted it. If you really did not thing yourself ugly, you would not have written that you did, and if you thought you were actually ugly, you would not have posted a picture. Agreed.

Otherwise, it may work for you that you feel more coinfident if you are with a friend wearing a similar style. Maybe it helps to just start talking to someone. I know it helps when I am taking the bus or subway somewhere to just talk  to the person next to me, about something completely unrelated to style. Talk about how good or bad the weather is, or something that you saw in the newspaper they were reading, or how dirty it is in the bus, how somebody should clean it, how people have no concience and just leave trash all over the place and how that never happens on YOUR planet. But don't freak anyone out too much or else people will stop taking buses and the ticket fares will go up.










On Negative Comments About "Mallgoths" and "Babybats"

I am aware that "mallgoth" is commonly used as a derogatory term to describe somebody who is into goth fashion but is badly dressed, but some people online have started saying that this is the style they are aiming for. Then again, "punk" was a negative word once too.

Mallgoth style usually involves wearing lots of black, spike or skull acessories, possibly white face makeup and band shirts from bands such as Evanescence or Nightwish. Most of those who dress in mallgoth style are young teenagers still living with their parents, so very often they will have no piercings or tattoos and a fairly mainstream-looking hairstyle, although they often would want to complain  about it. This is a style usually of begnners who are new to the goth or alternative subculture, and many of us have had a "mallgoth or "babybat" phase when we first saw goth.

This is not only normal, it is great. The trouble is that most people don't see it that way. Why, you ask? Well, for one thing because a style, or even the beginnings of  style, are much better then nothing at all. In my eyes, caring and not knowing what to do is ten thousand times better then not caring, and I hope you can agree. Mallgoth is not a bad end, it is a beginning. Anyone even trying to dress in a diffrent style is a person who is very creative and has courage, who with some woerk can become something great. The negative comments mallgoths abd babybats recieve for their style do nothing to help them, and by treating somebody unfairly for their style may bring a future good friend or even role model away from you, or even destroy them completely.

If you have once ever dressed like this, you should know. It is really an unfortunate that people comment on other's style in nasty ways even though they likely dressed like that themselves once. Every time I go on website I see people make fun of them, and I try to do what I can. I mark the pictures with the nasty captions as offensive, respond to comments and try to contact the people who put  the pictures to tell them to remove it. But I can't do everything alone, you must help me too. If you see a picture with an offensive caption, try to contact the people posting it. Leave a (encouraging) comment b the picture and say we are all still learning, because we are. Instead of saying the dress was pulled from the trash, say it would have looked better with less frills and a diffrent one may have suited them better. And you, M.G., S., C.F., and anybody else, help spread this message! If we want to be treated well, WE must make others terat us well!

Things I Wish I was Told As a Beginner

All of us had a time when we were just trying on the gothic fashion, and seeing what worked. It is the time when we just experimented with what looks good and feels like "us" and what does not. Here are some things I, and possibly you too, wished we were told during that time.

Not only is cheap halloween makeup look terrible, it is also a health concern. It is only meant to be worn for one night on Halloween, and if it is not it can permanently hurt you. Learned that from my own experience with black lipstick, which around my age 12-13 left my lips almost without color. I still look at my childhood photos and wonder how this happened, and although the color is slowly coming back, leaving the house without (normal) lipstick is not an option.

Although it may notr look awfully gothic, "Kiss My Face"
brand lipstickis organic and will not cause ay harm to you.
 The dark red is actually very, very dark...

The same applies to hair dye, of cource. If you want your hair to grow back blonde, don't use cheap red hair dye from some country where they don't even bother to write out the instructions in english. M.G. and S. can prove. Try temporary hair dye, if anything.

Also, you may want to know to NEVER leave on chipped nail polish, unless it is clear. Hands are one of the first things people notice about you, and you want them to look good. This also means that one should be using cutucle remover to give their nails a good shape, and that all one's nails must be the same length. Never bite your nails! Especially if you are using a nail polish color that will attract attention, or is bright or very dark .

This is very good.

Another fact: not everything with skulls is goth. Plenty of things with skulls are less goth than anything can be. Skulls ofte scream "teen angst!", which I'm sure is something you don't want to be seen as having. Yes, skulls can be worn tastefully, but this is not easy. For example, if skulls are a part of a design but not the main focus of it, and the redt of the design is sophistiated and tasteful this may work. If not sure try to keep them to a minimum. And please, no skulls with hearts!

For instance, here I am sorry to say that no, please don't, not even
 for emo style and definitely not for goth, this is too much and too tacky,
I want to say I've seen worse but I doubt I have so please just
NEVER wear anthing like this!!!

Apart from that, probably one of the most important things I've learned in a long time: Don't drown in your dreams and don't live in a box. I know, mommy tells you to dream. And not just her, but the rest of society as well. Don't wait for your dreams to come true, because without your help they never will. You can't win the lottery if you don't buy tickets. I'm not saying don't dream; dream alright. But don't want to be, be. Don't be afraid. Go ahead, get your ears pierced, get a haircut, change your name and do whatever you want! No age is too young; if it works in your eyes it will work in mine. Show this post to your mommies and friends and schoolteachers, and tell them Kismet agrees. Don't wait until you grow or lose weight or gain counfidence or anything happens! Start now, and new coinfidence will be yours. Don't say you want to do something, do it! It is yourself, and you must take the steps to become what you want to be and do it NOW!!!

Tips on Shopping With Your Parents

Many of us sometimes shop with our parents or relatives, and some rarely shop without them. While some people's parents just buy them whatever they say they want, this is rare. Here are some tips on actually getting parents to buy you what you want.

1) Before going shopping, make a list together, or at least make a list and show it to your parents. Try to be specific, and remember that no one can read your mind and you actually have to say what you want. For example:



In somebody else's mind, "boots" may look like this;



While it is hard for "black pointy-toe boots with buckles"
to look much diffrent from this.

 However, keep in mind that not everything can be easily found. For example, "black and purple  knee-high  boots with  2-inch platforms and bat-shaped buckles" is probably too specific to be actually found. Make sure what you write in your list still leaves you with a choice.

2) Don't settle for less. If you want boots, don't settle for converse. This may just leave you with no more money to spend and an item that you don't want.
However, what you can do is this: Say, you want a black miniskirt with lace, but you think your parents may not. Then, show them some lace-covered, black skull print, ridiculous monstrosity from your nearest Hot Topic and say here, I want something like that. Then, spend time looking for "something similar" and show them the skirt you actually want.  They will be more then happy to buy it for you once they've seen the first option.

3) Wear mainstream-looking clothes when shopping with parents if they don't like your style. Skip the hair and makeup too. Instead of "Buy me another crazy something", in their eyes your look will say " It's only one item, if they wear it with these normal and colorful clothes it won't look that unusual". This sounds strange, but believe me, it works. I used to own a pair of light-wash jeans an a pastel blue hoodie just for the purpose.

4) Be willing to pay for the item yourself, at least partly. That doesn't mean you'd actually pay for it. You won't. Just say the item means a lot to you and you are willing to pay for it.

Happy shopping!

Liebster Award

Goth Mary Poppins tagged me, but later had to explain what it was. This is how I understood it. If I wrote something real stupid, next time just don't tag people who walk into glass doors every other week and don't know how to use email.

The Rules:

• Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
• Answer the questions the tagger has set for you.
• Create 11 questions the tagger has set for you.
• Choose 11 people and link back to them.
• No tag backs.

11 things about me:

• I never read magazines. Still don't know why.
• I am not goth.  I don't even look like one. I only use the word so my blog appears more in the google search.
• Sometimes when I look through my clothes, I wonder how half the stuff must have jumped from David Bowie's closet to mine, and what he must think about it.
• I almost never throw clothes out. I usually give them away to friends or find a way to reuse the item.
• My favorite shoes at the moment are from the brand Converse, but they are not sneakers. They're leather boots, and they were a gift from a relative. Other than to the gym, I try to never wear sneakers.
• I never listen to goth music, almost all of it is too gloomy and gives me bad memories. I prefer things like Gogol Bordello or Vulgargrad.
• M.G. says I look like the Saddening Alien from Final Wars.
• On the topic of Saddening Aliens and Final Wars, I sometimes watch lots of VERY weird movies.
• I like talking on the phone to my friends, but almost never use texting or e-mail. I don't have Facebook , Twitter or anything like that, because I believe these sites do more harm then good by spreading regrettable photographs and rumors.
• I like trading clothed with my friends because I find it is a good way to get new clothes without actually spending your money.  Thanks to that, I sometimes don't even remember what was originally mine and what was somebody else's. Maybe that's how all the David Bowie-like stuff got there?
•  I don't believe in "idols", because for me it is more important my and my friend's life then that of some band or artist I've never even met. For that reason I never buy band merchandise and have never owned a band shirt. I like to be myself, not an advertisement for somebody else.

Questions

1. Some story, that was embarrassing when happened, but later became funny.  My "purple disease". A few months ago, I was brushing my teeth when I noticed that my whole tongue and most of the inside of my mouth were a dark blue-purple color. It did not hurt or feel like anything at all.I was so confused and worried that I asked all my relatives if they knew what it may be, but nobody did. I looked on the Internet, but no oe had anything about a blue and purple mouth. When I was panicking enough to drive to the hospital that very moment, I remembered I had eaten a purple popsicle just minutes before.

2. Any weird fact about you. I never take my sunglasses off. It could be pouring rain on midnight in the middle of winter and indoors at the same time and I'd be wearing them.

3.  What did you wanted to be when you grow up?  Wanted to be a fashion designer, but thankfully that went away.

4. Best Christmas present ever? I usually just got money. Worst present? A white and pink butterfly-print flannel turtleneck. Get that? A PINK BUTTERFLY PRINT TURTLENECK!  That didn't fit.

5.  Funny local tradition that you and/or your family follows. Don't really know, we don't have much traditions, and definitely none that we'd call weird.

6. Worst song, that you secretly like. I don't like bad songs. To me, every song that I like is good. What is the point of listening to bad music?

7. Are you a morning bird or night owl? It depends on the day.

8. Do you prefer boots or pointy heels? I would say boots, although even M.G. and S. will tell you that my last two favorite pairs of shoes were both high-heeled pointy boots. Never owned a pair of real brand boots, all too expensive.

9. What is your favourite snack? I would say strawberries, I don't snack a lot and prefer healthier things to eat.

10. Alcohol: yes or no? Not for me. I don't like the smell.

11.  What was your last dream you can remember? Dreamed that I got my report card and there was a C in biology. Then woke up and remembered that I don't go to school and never even took biology.

My Questions:

1. Is there any celebrity that people say you were influenced by or look like, who you don't even know?
2.  Do you have any item of clothing or acessory that you like to wear all the time no matter what?
3. What is the worst gift anyone has given you? What did you do with it?
4. What is the last item of clothing you bought?
5. What are some of your hobbies?
6. What would you do if you got a haircut that looked nothing at all like what you were asking for?
7. How would you describe your style?
8. What is your favorite movie?
9. What are your views on "labels"? Are they for soup cans or a good way to define a person?
10. What is the most ridiculous thing anyone said to you about your style?
11. What do you think about the decadent movement?